LifeChangers

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Ask the Experts / Q and A

Ask Dr. Tom your Question

Question:
I am a 35 year-old wife and mother of 2 young children. I am also depressed most of the time. Even though I love my family and know God wants to bless me, I feel trapped and lonely. My husband tries to cheer me up, but he doesn't really understand what I'm going through. Is this normal that I feel this way?

Dr Tom:
Mothers with young children often feel trapped at home. Typically, their husbands are heavily involved in their careers and don't understand why their wives aren't "happy." You aren't crazy for feeling like you want more out of life than changing diapers and going to McDonald's! No matter how much you love your children, you need to develop other parts of your life as well. Here are some suggestions:

1. Think through your typical week and ask yourself when you get to do relate with other adults. Do you have times to meet with other people? If not, join a mom's group or a women's Bible study. Ask your husband to watch the kids each week, so you can do something with a friend.

2. Talk with your partner about the need for the two of you to have regular date nights. Plan special times together, even if you can't afford a sitter. The key is spending quality time together. (for further suggestions, see the Heart to Heart marriage course)

3. Consider what else is bothering you. Are there things in your past that need healing? Start a journal about your past wounds, then talk to God and a friend about them. If there are some hurts that don't go away, consider a few sessions of Christian counseling.

4. Finally, if you are feeling very depressed, seek out help right away. Call 9-1-1 or consult the Yellow Pages for Crisis Counseling in your area.

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