LifeChangers

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Ask Dr. Tom your Question

Question:
My husband is a caring man, but often overlooks my needs. It makes me feel unimportant. I'm not sure he is even aware of it, but I can't take this any longer, what should I do?

Dr Tom:
One of the biggest challenges many wives face is getting their husbands' attention. Very often, they don't feel they are being heard, so they "turn up the volume" or continue nagging. When this happens, it chases the husband away ever further. If you are experiencing this, you need to do 3 things:

1. Pray that you get your own attitude right. Try to focus not only on your needs, but on the needs of your marriage.

2. Stop nagging or yelling. It is counter-productive.

3. Quietly, but firmly, ask him to sit down with you so you can share your concerns. You don't have to threaten to get his attention, but you do need to make it clear that you both need to take this seriously. When you show your partner your commitment to help change things (without a lot of yelling), you are creating an environment for him/her to join you in rebuilding your marriage.

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